respect

someone has given me a free tour...a guided tour into their heart. i am not worthy of such tours...as my heart is taken by another. what an oxymoron...to be given such a gift and yet not able to receive it. i want to, don't get me wrong. i am just completely not inclined. i feel this is stupid. i can't let go. i can't get comfortable with the comfortable. we walked through the grocery store two days ago and the song "love the one you're with" came on. i squeezed his hand in mine and thought about running madly in the other direction...toward brocolini, toward honesty. shiiiiiit. at this point it is about respect, and honestly i must give it. honesty is giving it. it just feels weird. i hate letting someone beautiful down. they deserve more. damn it.