the bisexual curveball

i loved her, so much that it burned inside of me brighter than my fear.
her humor, her presence, her smell, the way she stroked my hair and let me wear her turquoise ring at a party. i looked at it on my finger, took a long drink, and looked up to find a familiar pair of eyes catching me. damn him...he knew. my friend kevin picked up on stuff faster than anyone else. mostly because he was an observant and perverse little mutherfucker, but also because he loved to play cupid. especially lesbian cupid in this case. looking back on it i had been with women before, but never like this. never in the sense that i felt the room move and shift into focus around her laugh, her gaze...every man in the place wanted her. and she knew it, because it was normal. a toss of blonde mane and quick glance in my direction now and again...i can't forget it. kevin drew me aside and told me how she loved to play and wanted me. i shivered a bit with anticipation and nervousness..with every man in the room how could she pick me? then again, how could she not?
looking back on it now it is a bit foreign. it has been years since we spent sweet drunken hours on the beach, in our tent, long manes tossing and lithe bodies snaking in firelight. i still dream now and again of the time she surprised me in the showers, lavender soap and quarters...her small hands caressing my body in wonderment and celebration. i think of this now, because my friend told the neighbor that i am a bisexual artist. i have only fallen in love with one woman, been with many, but to be introduced to new neighbors as the "bisexual artist" is something unexpected. i feel so exposed, so i write it here tonight to take control of that exposure.
i am comfortable with my openness in regards to love and sexuality. i have always shared when asked. i don't typically wear it like a badge,because it is not my identity. i do not feel ready to wave a rainbow banner at some gay pride march. i just feel open to feeling love and seduction when i do.
i wonder about her now, year later, and hope she has found contentment. i have found i am my own best lover. so where does that put things?
it is so rare for me to find a woman attractive on this level, and equally rare to find a man. such a bisexual curveball, huh?