my heart

i beat
drumming strong,
when you sing, when you weep.
you forget me sometimes,
then you fill me with song.
so much love has been lost when i held it too long...
too hard, packing it into a void that would never be filled,
outside in.
beautiful dream, you never came to me.
you gave me words, gave me strength, but fell away on the day we would meet.
sometimes you come visit me,
dreaming of us in my sleep.
i beat
humming songs,
some sung in a minor key,
husky and low for only me,
to hear,
painting pictures for only me to see.
the changing road was once so dark,
twisting sharply and unexpectedly.
the loves come and gone have left my heart,
and staid there too,
in the pause between beats.
i credit them not for the beat,
only me.
i thank them for the beauty
though fleeting it may be.

these moments,
strung together once tore my soul,
when i wasn't whole or loving inside-out,
just craving the outside in.
i recover quickly and love deeply, but there have been so many loves and so many moments.
so much blessing, so many kisses, so many tones and shades of beating this drum in the name of love.
i beat,
still feeling,
but strangely altered into a safe space.
holding none but my self,
which used to feel painful but now feels so grand!