The Passing of a Great Man

It's taken me some time to process his death. I felt almost like I was in shock, only it was no great surprise for Pop to die. After all, he lived a long life and was almost ninety-two. It made logical sense to me, because he had been suffering with Alzheimer's for almost a decade and had completely forgotten me about five years ago. Watching his memorial slideshow today has left me feeling so emotional, so sad, and so full of gratitude. I come from amazing stock and it was all the more evident as every photo morphed into the next. It's hard leaving the nest, moving across the country and telling your young self you can always turn back; you can always go home. Now I am finding how time passes and how entrenched in our own lives we become. I see how hard it is to go back, and sometimes when you get there they don't know who you are.

Pop and I never had a chance to really say goodbye. Our relatives reminded him of who I was when I'd come to visit every year, but after a few years he'd just smile and say, "Hello, Sweet Girl." Soon thereafter he went silent and began sleeping a lot, so in that way I felt his death even before the physical one. Looking back through the memories, I can honestly say I've been one of the most blessed individuals. Pop always took his time making wonderful things for us. I still have my dollhouses, my toy chest, my special lockbox, my cutting board, my bookshelves, and my Frank Lloyd Wright light. He showered all of his grandchildren with handmade wooden crafts, and it is really something to be appreciated. In a world full of plastic junk, I have something of value to pass to my children.

When I think about who Pop was there are a few immediate qualities that come to mind. He was a kind, thoughtful, gentle person. He was always impeccably groomed and extremely well educated. I remember how much he loved nature, taking walks, reading something interesting, singing, making things in his woodshop. He had a love of animals and children. He was a faithful and loyal husband and father. He made each grandchild feel like they were his favorite. He appreciated music and the arts and continued taking classes into his late years. Most of all I miss his subtle and genuinely happy presence. There is a certain loneliness I have for him and it will never be filled. Because of Pop I became someone who loves children and animals, loves to go on walks, make homemade goodies, craft things by hand, sing, and read interesting things. I hope I can follow his example of generosity of spirit and giving my full attention to the person I am spending time with. I hope I can support others and inspire them to achieve wildly romantic dreams like Pop has inspired me.

I don't know if I'll ever be half as classy or successful as my Pop, but he has left his mark on me and I feel so grateful for it.