the ugly truth

i have been wrong and acted out of fear.
i have been unkind and judgmental.
i often fail to follow through on things.
sometimes i seek the easy way, even if i know it won't get me to the right place.
i stumble and fall, finding it hard to get out of my own way.
i can be meanest of all to myself.

this year my intention is to be more honest about how i feel, let go of things that hurt, ask forgiveness for wrongs i've committed, focus on coming from a heart centered and conscious place, and find the magic i've been missing. the other night i was sleepless, tossing around on the fact that i'm not lost, i've just forced myself not to listen. i thought i could bury my heart and "get through" this part...but instead i have been stuck in a place that doesn't feel right. i went to "sleep" again, and laying in bed suddenly couldn't sleep. i know the vibrational toxicity that comes with red meat, alcohol, television, sedentary living, refined foods, cigarettes, sleeping friendships. i found a bracelet that says, "your life won't change until you change your life."

i agree.
so i choose to change.
my intention is to stay awake this time.
the "other way" doesn't work, and having explored that to every possible end, i feel ready to enter this new year, new decade, and new age with an open and kind heart.